Oh no. My voice is screwed for some reason! Looks like I have to refrain from drinking cold beverages. Otherwise I won't be able to sing! I cannot even project properly ever since Sunday.

Or maybe this is the result of stress?

In other news, I am currently turning into a very, very shy and insecure individual towards the person that I fancy. I am currently not talking to him in fear that he'll get the wrong idea, turn away, and leave me for good... just like what that evil asshole Sludge did.

And he's been wondering why I've been so quiet. O_O'

Gee, I'm really, really screwed.

If you have known me for quite a while, you'll know that I am really afraid of cockroaches especially the large dark ones. Those that can fly are no exception to the rule.

While there were no actual cockroach incidents yesterday morning, something happened that was still related to that disgusting and useless insect.

My mother was the one who prepared a sandwich for me yesterday so I can have something to eat here in the office. It's a cheese sandwich. I love cheese and so I felt obliged to eat it no matter how much I despise eating in the office especially whenever I am in a hurry to meet deadlines. She wrapped the sandwich with aluminum foil because there were no sandwich bags left and she placed it inside a brown paperbag.

By 11:30am, I was hungry already so I decided to eat it. It's a good thing that I have a bad habit of inspecting my food before eating it no matter how good it is or no matter how hungry I am. I didn't like what I saw.

There is a cockroach egg embedded on one side of the top bread.

I sent a text message to my mother about it.

I also wondered whether I should keep the sandwich untouched and bring it home as evidence so mother can see how disgusting it really is. However, I thought of worst case scenarios that could happen to that little black egg that looks like a pellet.

Quietly freaking out, I disposed of the sandwich along with the aluminum foil and paper bag immediately in fear that the egg might hatch and little hatchlings might infest my workstation and cause havoc among my officemates.

But the incident from my high school sophomore year was probably the worst because I actually felt a small dead roach touch the tip of my tongue as I drank water from my water jug. I thought it was plastic from the ice but a wave of paranoia swept through me so I opened the jug and saw a small dead roach floating among the ice. No plastic.

I often wonder why God created cockroaches. Sure they serve as food for other insects that are better than them (i.e. spiders)... but I still hate them and wish that they had never been created. Yes I know that cockroaches are way bigger in the prehistoric times. Thank God though that I wasn't born yet at that time. Or maybe I was and I got reincarnated, so I have an irrational fear of those things because they killed me in my past life.

There's basically nothing new in my life nowadays. It's basically the same old crap happening in different days with varying degrees of severity.

I don't like to rant too much about things that are really annoying and bothering me nowadays because I don't want to sound whiny and I don't want to soil the look of your friends page with negativity just in case you're viewing this entry from there. I just posted everything in private posts to save you from the trouble of having to hear everything that I want to say.

So I'll just share some new works just in case you haven't seen them in my deviantArt page yet:

Aiber's New Death Scene
Most Wanted Blonds
Frustration Stinks, Mello
Cookie Trouble
On Checkered Flooring
Light Shines On Light
Death Note Summer
How The Gods Kill

Uuuh. Mostly Death Note. But in fairness, Cookie Trouble is Final Fantasy 7-related. Most Wanted Blonds also has Rufus Shinra in it. And Sephiroth is in the last one.

*goes blank*

Today is just another one of those days when I forgot to eat until my stomach finally took the persona of Cid Highwind and began cussing at me like, "Hey you @#$#!!!! You forgot to @#@$#@ feed me again! You #$@#!!!!"

But all the food here has MSG so I was stuck eating wheat chips again.

Blah.

No more green tea because I consumed my last tea bag yesterday and threw it away.

Yay. McDonalds.

Could you move in slow motion
Everything goes by so fast.
Just slow down a little
Save the best part for last.

Staring at the computer for too long + too many plot bunnies + being deprived of chocolates + watching 3 CSI's in 3 hours + extreme starvation _ singing using head tone + getting caught singing "Almost Paradise" + too much information regarding JavaScript/AJAX frameworks...

= a bad hangover.

I woke up today and it was like waking up from a night of binge drinking with friends at a bar. I was incoherent, I couldn't read properly, I couldn't even type properly! Coffee perked me up, though. Otherwise, my work would be a big disaster today.

In other news, Tseng just left this morning to go to LA and Wisconsin. Will be back by the end of April. Had to use the US Visa before it expires. I miss Tseng already. :(

Oh, why can't I travel as much as friends do??!! Seriously, this is one of my problems as a working person because I insist on not taking any vacation leaves for whatever reason (except if I get a heart attack or something).

For my next trip abroad, I'm planning to go to Macau. Lulz.

*goes off to take care of plot bunnies*

I don't like indecisiveness. I don't like being pressured to hurry. I don't like people who think that the world revolves around them. Most of all, I don't like being lied to.

...

Enough pessimism and ranting. Let me talk about happier things:

Plot bunnies are flooding my system. This means that I'll be a hermit for the rest of the week and act like a deranged artist locked up in her room to write, write, write, draw, paint, design, WHATEVER.

Mwahahaha.

*is currently starving to death because she is supposed to be out on a date lulz but has canceled*

Brandon Boyd is like a bad hangover.

The effect of Incubus on me is like drinking liquor all night and waking up feeling dazed and confused while wondering if last night was a dream. I had to watch the clips I recorded in my mobile phone again to verify that everything that happened last night was real.

To describe exactly how I felt last night is going to be overrated so I'll leave you to imagine how I really felt while watching the boys perform live on stage at the Araneta Coliseum.

I still wish they performed Admiration but oh well... XD

I'm an only child. Dev psych and Gen psych courses would tell you everything you'll ever need to know about an only child and surprisingly, they will tell you the truth about me, too.

To sum it all up...:

1. More comfortable around adults. I find myself more comfortable and willing to talk to people who are older than me without feeling too shy or too embarrassed. In fact, talking to people who are younger than me is more nerve-wracking. I tend to feel more insecure around people who are younger than me.

2. My social skills towards the younger generation is bad. Being an only child and with my cousins growing up in the province, I didn't get to socialize very well with fellow children. I spent most of my free time with myself or with my older relatives and parents at home.

3. I couldn't mingle well at school. I was one of those students who didn't have too many friends way back in elementary because I was not comfortable around them.

4. I'm used to being alone. Even if you leave me in a place for several hours or confine me to a room for a week and cut off all my communication lines with the outside world, I can still survive, stay sane, and even feel contentment. Because I'm an only child, I learned how to entertain myself to prevent boredom.

5. I do not understand sibling rivalry. And I guess I will never fully know/understand without using the point-of-view of a behavioral analyst. I think this is the case with other only-born kids. Back in 2006, I did a case study on a fellow only child for developmental psychology class. This was one of the things he mentioned to me that really made sense to me, too.

6. Having people around and knowing that they'll leave sooner or later scares me. While I should be accustomed to being alone already, there are times when I just cannot let go of people around me easily. For example, if I have a friend staying over at my place for a couple of days and then they'll leave eventually, once they are gone, I'll find myself feeling depressed and really very lonely.

7. I thought the world revolved around me. Perhaps this was due to the fact that I was spoiled and was even proud of it. Though there's a saying that goes like this: "I ain't spoiled, I deserve everything I have!!!"...
However, several negative instances and experiences in life eventually made me "grow up" and realize that the world does not and can never evolve around me. And I'm simply glad that I learned that... although I can say that I learned that in the hardest ways possible.

Okay, that's enough. I think I make an interesting case study. I would like to participate in one but I don't like remembering too many things from my childhood and pre-teen years so I'd rather be the shrink. Nyahaha. XD

Click the image for a larger version

Happy Vincent Valentine's Day, everyone! :)

Yes, that image was quite hurried.

No, I'm not in-love!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered.

Cloud Strife is yours! :)


...
Sorry for flooding your friends page, guys. I just had to keep this one unlocked. XD

Death Note must be swarming with slash fans. It's rather disappointing but I still decided to take the plunge and do something that is against the usual slash or YAOI that you can typically expect from fans. And just so you know, I ain't a Death Note slash fan. Hetero, please.

Now speaking of heterosexual pairings from that anime, I don't know why there isn't any single fan work out there regarding Gevanni and Halle. They're like the Yuuri and Flynn of Kyou Kara Maou--nobody's making any media about them while in some cases, if your manner of thinking permits you to, you can see that hey, maybe they can work! XD

So here you go. Three four-panel fan comics on GevannixHalle. (when Google crawls for that keyword, this post will be linked if I don't lock it. Haha):

Make A Move
Make A Move II
Make A Move III

The original titles were supposed to be "Torpe" but I don't know how I'm going to explain or translate the word in English. Some terms originally sound better from their own native tongue. So there you go, I just got the title from an Incubus song from the Stealth movie soundtrack. Kyahahahaha.

If Death Note isn't your thing, I've created a Final Fantasy VII fan comic yet again. However, I made it a point to poke fun at Sephiroth this time:

Sephiroth's Antennae

silvergrigori doodled something from way back in college with Vincent walking by a bush and Sephiroth hiding behind it with only the top of his bangs exposed. It looked funny and the drawing is still with me somewhere (If I find it I might scan it to show it off. XD)

_dens poked fun at that drawing, saying that Sephiroth's bangs are like a cockroach's antennae... and that they move whenever he's thinking of dirty and obscene things. Therefore...

I made that.

So thanks to silvergrigori and _dens for the inspiration. :)

Despite the title, sorry to disappoint you but this is not an emo entry. I'm here to blog about my fondness for cold weather so let me begin...

One of things I love about December is the weather: it's cooler, it's not as humid as summer (duh), and because it's cooler, I get to wear my jackets. XD haha. It sounds shallow but yeah, you get to look extra "cooler" with jackets. Try this on for size: You dress up in plain shirts, jeans, and sneakers--you look too plain. But put on a snazzy jacket and boy, you'll look fashionable in no time.

Just like what a former English teacher said: "People are more fashionable when the weather is cool."

See? You don't get to wear those black trench coats in the summer, do you? Oh yeah, and don't forget the black turtlenecks. Hurrah.

I love cold weather very much that I'd rather freeze to death than suffer a heatstroke.

I'm dreading the end of this month and January coming to life after the 31st because it would mean another year of having to go through the many days of humid and hot weather before experiencing the coldness of the last "ber" months again.

I wish we have winter in the Philippines. If the theory of continental drift is real, then I curse the fact that the the islands that would comprise of the Philippines later on drifted off near the equator and became a tropical country.

(okay seriously, I made this entry because I have a compulsion to just blog everyday even if there is nothing much to say. haha)

Tomorrow is Friday and I'm excited for the weekend just so I can finally do my Christmas shopping... and finally, to see if I can finally buy my long-awaited PSP and a new mobile phone.

However, I'm faced with another dilemma: what mobile phone should I buy? Here are my current choices:

1. Motorola Razr V3x
2. Nokia 7610

I don't like the newer and snazzier models because I don't like wasting money and I'm not sure about their bugs. I'd rather buy tried and tested mobile phones recommended by friends and other consumers than buy the latest one just for the sake of being stylish and technologically up-to-date.

And a very happy birthday to Mello. I actually made a tribute for him. Haha.


Happy Birthday Mello by ~generaltifa on deviantART

Well sorry. I just had to let it all out. Finally. Without anyone stopping me. But I feel better that I finally put everything into words and published it in a place where nobody else can find it.

It's about the boy.

Everything is in my GreatestJournal account. I feel much, much, better that I jotted every single hatred, anger, and bitterness that I feel towards him in that entry.

But can I move on now?

I think so. After all, maybe I'm better off alone. If he can't appreciate me for who I am just because he prefers a prettier face with fairer skin, a profession that screams "I'M A FUCKING MODEL SO LOVE ME!!!", and a taller built, then it's time to weed him out of my life. Asshole.

Ahoy. I'm doing a Writer's Block thing.

The most drastic change I've ever done to my appearance had something to do with my hair. It always has something to do with my hair. You see, my hair is like my strength. I'm not trying to say that it's my best feature but it's a crowning glory. Without it, I feel useless, I feel typical, and I don't feel like myself.

Samson was the guy who had his hair cut and then he got weak, right? I'm like that guy.

Ever since the first time I was able to grow my hair long (way back in 2nd grade), I decided that a good way to punish myself for doing something bad is to cut it short.

When I was in fourth grade, a particular event made me realize that cutting my hair is my form of self-punishment. I made my old man angry one afternoon because I was brushing my hair and the hairbrush got caught in tangles. I don't know why he got angry about it. It was like a freak accident (well he's a bastard anyway, he gets angry with the littlest things, maybe that's my I grew up to be a screwed-up young lady). Well yeah I cried because I disappointed my father. That same afternoon, I had my grandma's hairdresser chop off my long locks, just a few days before I went to the United States for a vacation.

Boo.

For popping the zit on my nose when I was 15 and it got infected and the infection reached my brain, I decided to cut my hair short even though the brain surgeon spared shaving it bald. He should've just shaved it bald, that way, I wouldn't have any more problems about it. But yeah, what's done is done.

For being a sickly girl in third year high school, by the end of junior year, I cut my hair short.

For not being able to pass senior year algebra, I punished myself by cutting my hair in a horrible bob.

For wasting so much money on sophomore year in college, I cut my hair short just in time for junior year.

At present, I don't even go to the salon for a trim unless I can find a reason to punish myself.

As much as I'd like to sport a short hairstyle (think Yuffie Kisaragi or the Jill Valentine bob), I don't have the strength to do it. I can do it now but I'll regret it later.

To end this thing, I'll answer a meme I snatched from siiy:

1. Sephiroth (FF7)
2. Rufus Shinra (FF7)
3. Wedy (Death Note)
4. L (Death Note)
5. Vincent Valentine (FF7)
6. Anissina von Karbelnikoff (Kyou Kara Maou)
7. Trish (Devil May Cry)
8. Sylar (Heroes)
9. Skurai (Ragnarok manhwa)
10. Conrad Weller (Kyou Kara Maou)

FIRST make your lists of favourite characters BEFORE answering the questions!

( the answers )

Sweet L: Happy Birthday Wedy by ~generaltifa on deviantART

The stuff that L said? They were inspired by an old classmate/thesis-mate/friend from college named Marie when she sent me a text message a couple of years ago that said "If there's only one cake left in the world, I'd save you from all the fat and calories and eat it all by myself. Aren't I sweet?"

Anyway, it's November 2 and it's Wedy's birthday. The next one who will celebrate her birthday is Yuffie Kisaragi on November 20. Meaning, I'll have another one of these posted later on in my deviantARt and then eventually shared here in LJ.

I do try to have some time left in my hands. I'll just pray that procrastination won't eat up my energy. Mwahaha.

Now I shall eat. Might post a locked post later on.

Thanks to having too much free time in my hands and extreme boredom, I was inspired to update Stigmatized: RufusxTifa.

I still need to do more updates but I'll do it some other time. I've done enough for today. I don't want to have a migraine tomorrow. No. Not tomorrow. For crying out loud. *sob*

*gets interrupted by the scene on TV*


NOOOO!!! Is Eric Delco dead?! O_o' (I am watching CSI Miami while typing this).

Wah. To be continued?! Freakin' cliff hanger!!! @o@'

I hate you Senator! You look like the killer! XD Haha. Kidding, dude. (sephtristan, if you're reading this, don't tell on me. Mwahaha).

I'm hungy but it's late so I don't want to eat anymore. Furthermore, there are cockroaches in the kitchen at this time of the night so I don't want to risk going out there anymore.

Now I have to sleep.

Happy Birthday L by ~generaltifa on deviantART

French fries, cookies, ice cream.

Today, my heart swings.

Wedy is next on November 2. *starts drawing*

Finally. We are officially open for business:

The Rufus Shinra Experience

Because there is never enough Rufus Shinra propaganda on the Internet. :)